Dear Law Students, it's pronounced "Whale"

It has come to my attention that this blog has been discovered by some of my classmates. Welcome law students. In order to make this humble blog more inviting, here are a few recent law school references:

On how Aboriginal rights are defined: "Chief Bob ran into Whitey last week. Now we're stuck."

On the problems with the decision in Peter v. Beblow: "This decision is like the episode of South Park with the underpants gnomes. . . . Step 1: Detrimental reliance, Step 2. Question mark, Step 3. Unjust Enrichment."

On buying professors drinks: "So Stephanie, what goes into a Pornstar?"

As well, it has come to my attention that I have offended Ian, a class mate of mine. Apparently, Ian did not want his drunken identity to be left anonymous when I wrote this post. (I guess that should be no surprise, since he has spent more hours in Scholars over the last 3 weekdays than he spent in class in the last three weeks combined.) To make it up to him, Ian asked that I tell a story about him so that he could google himself and find something interesting.

Yesterday, Ian was playing pool. Off of the break, the other team didn't sink anything, so on her turn, Ian's partner sank a solid. The other team sunk a stripe or two, and then it was Ian's turn. He looked at the table. He decided on a shot, lined it up and sank the 8-ball. He then tried to continue playing because, after all, the 8-ball is a non-striped ball, therefore it must have been a solid. Fastest game of pool ever.

To those that understand both instances where "it's pronounced whale" applies, you can comparison shop for full length mirrors here or here.

Edited to add: Brokeback mooting

Success!

After 5 failed attempts throughout the week, 5 different people helping to push my car, and lots of spinning tires, last night I managed to drive my car into the garage without any difficulties.

I am glad to see that I have high standards for success.

Re child labour: If it can support its head it can support itself

It seems that talking can get me into trouble. In order to avoid trouble, I'm going to recount one of my friend's stories instead:

A number of years ago, my friend worked at a mental hospital that had two patients that thought they were Jesus. On Christmas, one Jesus started singing "happy birthday to me." The other Jesus said "shut-up, it's my birthday!" and punched the first Jesus. They got into a fight, which is weird, because you wouldn't think that Jesus would be like that. In the end, the staff had to sedate them both.

In other news, this week, I was not the most soul-less person in law school.

I guess it's better than "have a nice life"

Today may have redeemed itself from the following exchange:

She: I'm going to miss you.
He: I am heavily sedated.

Tinna, I'm sorry your gift is late. Thanks for the postcard.

Can't you just envision a bunch of seals in a night club?

I've heard there has been a big kafuffle about stopping seal clubbing in Canada. There have even been celebrities (namely Paul McCartney and Heather Mills) coming to Canada to raise awareness of the cause.

[I'm not quite sure if their cause is to let people know that Canadian geography is difficult (PEI, "New Finlend" and Labrador -- same thing, right?), to prove that seals are vicious, biting little buggers, or that less than 10% of seals that are killed are clubbed (the rest are shot).]

So I decided to look into the issue. In all fairness I managed to avoid most of the media hullabaloo, so my investigation was rather shallow.* Instead, I did conducted a brief, informal poll.**

It seems that almost all of those surveyed would consider seal-helmets a disincentive to club seals.

So if Paul McCartney and Heather Mills really cared (or if people do not want seals to be clubbed), they ought to be proactive and make them cute little seal helmets. [I would suggest cute blue ones, like the ones the UN uses.] Alternately, if seals do not like being clubbed, they should do something about it themselves; survival of the fittest and all.***

*It may or may not have encompassed recalling Tinna telling me that some people in Britain associate Canadians with seal clubbing.
**It may or may not have had a sample size of 5.
***No seals were harmed in the making of this post, despite my lack of photoshopping skills. As well, there is a ban against killing the cute white-fur baby seals, so only the less cute adult harp seals are killed (occasionally by clubbing).

Connect the synapses

Some thoughts that are all connected somehow:

1) My heart was shattered recently. I discovered that excel is not in fact infallible.
Why excel? Why have you forsaken me? I do not like being forsook.

2) My shattered heart hearts Jon Stewart.
I may have missed the first half of the Oscars, but that doesn't mean I can't wish he was 20 years younger.
[aside: why do both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert use blue paper for their notes?]

3) I hope people like green prosperity cloths.
Apparently the only thing more dangerous than drinking and dialing is watching TV in a group and dialing.

Only in Alberta

So my premier threw a book at a page, in the legislature, while it was in session, during a speech by the leader of the opposition.

Maybe his popularity will even go up, like when he threw coins at people in a homeless shelter.