"The Nuke Kid on the Block"*

I think it could be fun to write for the Weekly World News, The National Enquirer or some other weekly tabloid publication. The complex formula for determining the front page story (involving the craziness of the conspiracy theory, sex appeal, and celebrities involved being proportional to the chance of being on the front page) seems stimulating and challenging.

For example, some "interesting" stories currently running:

• French Diet Secrets Revealed: Swallow Consonants, Feel Full All Day
• Anna Nicole And Lawyer Not Married
• Untimely Stigmata Injures Gymnast
• Natzy: Sick Croatian fans form a human Swastika
• India's latest move to stop child labor**

Of course next week, there will have to be a story about North Korea. The most notable thing about North Korea is that there leader is "ape-shit insane,"*** (well that and the whole nuclear thing****). Now one of the notable things about Kim Jong Il (aside from his crazy hair, love of sunglasses, and cult of personality) is that when it comes to issues concerning foreign policy, he flip flops more than John F. Kerry (allegedly) did.

So the crazy cover story theory for next week could be:

"North Korea is led by Identical Twins"

Identical twins Kim Jong I and Kim Jong II collectively known as Kim Jong Il share the dubious spot light focused on North Korea. Although they look the same, each has their own personality, hobbies, and views about North Korea's Foreign Policy; while Kim Jong I likes golf, wants to be a film director, and has always wanted to go to the UN, Kim Jong II wants to nuke everyone. The latter is also the stronger more bully-like one.

Or maybe he's a woman or something like that.
___________
*Title of this post completely and entirely taken from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
**This may or may not be a publication that intends to be considered a tabloid, per se.
***Cliff, Alan. Talking about Kim Jong Il. October 9, 2006.
****I'm so upset I used all those awesome graphics in my last post.