4.23.2005

Following the white rabbit

Before I get to the post itself, I have an update on my life's quest for irony. As I was nearing the end of the typing my post, my computer ate it. I have retyped it quickly so that you can share in the irony.
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I started my summer job two days ago.
I am a finance assistant with a corner office and love-hate relationship with nepotism.

It's a fun job. I don't think I have played with this many stickers since elementary, and I know I've never been paid this much to sticker things. I was also introduced to the photocopier, colour printer, laser printer, broken shredder, and plethora of computers with which I will be dealing.

Have you ever notices that computers (and electronics in general) are ubiquitous? If so, have you ever noticed that technology in general can be rather perplexing?

I realized that I don't know much about computers (and technology in general).
I know that they are a time sink.
I know that they can be useful.
I know that they crash when you need them most (stupid toshiba photocopier).

I also know that they plug into an electrical outlet.
But what exactly is a volt or an ohm or an amp or current? Sure they tried to explain it to me in Physics 30, but I think it was all a conspiracy to cover up the truth.

The more I deal with computers, the more I begin to suspect that even though they may plug them into a wall, the real source of their energy is from consuming people's time. If energy can not be created nor destroyed, perhaps all the energy that we put into using and being frustrated with computers is what makes them tick.

Technology is like a girl in a relationship: constantly yearning for attention. Especially when you have better things to do.

Is your computer messing up? It just feels it hasn't been getting enough of your time.
Your computers' favourite food: time you don't have.
Your computers' favourite pastime: making you late and stealing your attention.
Your computers' biggest enemies: books, baths, and babies. They take up too much computer time and can be used to harm the computer.

In my office, we have resorted to naming our printers, talking to our computers, and coaxing our photocopier and broken shredder to work. But as long as we continue to let them have an impact on our lives they will continue to try and win our attention by holding our work hostage.

My solution: a mass defenestration of computers to teach them a lesson.

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