Time to invent a time machine

I wish I could somehow take the time I spent procrastinating a few weeks ago and insert it into my day right now. If everyone could decide where to insert idle time, time in general could be allocated so much more efficiently. And efficiency is a good thing. Not as good as chocolate or excel or leaving for Ireland in 25 days, but still a good thing.

It really would be awesome to get to sleep and to finish my work properly.

Now if only I could take the few minutes I spent on this post and somehow reinsert them in about an hour when I'm tireder and still not done.

Ravenous rabid rabbits

Was the rabbit at the end of Monty Python and the Holy Grail a vampire bunny, a were-rabbit, or just some sort of aggressive ravenous rabid rabbit?

1. Being really tired can impair one's realization of double entendre.
2. One should not buy shoes that are a half size too large. However, it does make them easier to throw at people.
3. It can take more time to recover from a weekend than a week of classes.
4. Throwing big chunks of granite at each other is a good way to relax.
5. Overtime Grey Cup victories are awesome.

Penguin Geneology

Interesting factoid of the day: Ponko the penguin is a facsimile of the penguin toy that belonged to the photographer Herbert Ponting who went to Antarctica with Captain Scott (after whom the Scott Polar Institute was named).

Flapping my wings but I still can't fly

My best friend is studying in Cambridge.

For Halloween she carved a pumpkin and named it Rodney. Apparently that is the name of a rather flamboyant TV show character and her co-carver re-named the pumpkin Bruce. (Apparently Halloween isn't as celebrated in the old world like it is here in the new world.)

She is studying polar studies at the Scott Polar Institute.
(She's really smart.)
She sent me a penguin named Ponko.
He's cute and smells like soap.
He isn't very adversarial, so he isn't debating at Hugill like Bismarck did.
But he is very soft and huggable and against demanding journalists to reveal their sources.

I miss you Tinna!

In other news, my nonagenarian grandmother volunteered to come along to Ireland if anyone needs an extra judge.

Less than four months until St. Patrick's Day

Christmas themed commercials start airing right after the back to school rush.
Valentine's specials are promoted before boxing day sales even die down, followed promptly by preparation for Easter.
Then there's the summer marketing blitz, then the back to school season, and we're back to the Christmas campaign.

Amidst this frenzy of consumerism and Christmas Carols, people don't seem to get a break to sit back and relax (and listen to Channukah songs).

Now while I hate to crowd the calendar, I think that it's time that people realize that St. Patrick's day, everyone's favourite Irish holiday, is on the horizon and fast approaching. Less than a third of the year to prepare! People start panicking about Christmas shopping with more time to spare. So in the spirit of preparing for St. Patrick's day, I think people should start preparing by drinking more beer.

Or by going to Ireland. (Yay! Leaving in 1 month and 3 days.)
And visiting the Guinness Factory.

I hear that it's a gorgeous country. According to one travel guide, Cork is 17 shades of green, none of which are jaded.

Dysfunctional semi-permeable membrane

You know what's stupid?

The fact that the US keeps finding ways to ban (or limit) anything Canadian from going south of the border. Except fossil fuels.

In news from the other side of the world, wouldn't it be cool to be nicknamed "the Bulldozer"?

Putting all the eggs in one basket

I wish people bickered less.

If they had cookies in their mouths they wouldn't be able to bicker. If they did, they'd spray people with cookie bits, which would be a waste of perfectly good cookie particles.

Cookie Conundrum

I've been told I'm a brat.

When presented with a container of cookies, containing some whole cookies and some broken pieces, I'll take one of the whole cookies, even if I only want a small piece and end up breaking it off (leaving more cookie pieces).

But it's not my fault! Whole cookies taste better than cookie pieces. (Although cookie pieces still taste better than nothing at all, which tastes better than broccoli.)

I think it's because the cookie fragments increase the surface area to volume ratio, increasing the rate of loss of fresh-cookie-yumminess (a proper scientific term, of course).

I also think that more people should bake and share cookies. How would I go about lobbying to get a date set to national cookie day?

Politically Incorrect

Inspired by a comment questioning the name of Edmonton's CFL team (The Edmonton Eskimos), I realized that this rant against the increased prominence of political correctness is long overdue.

There are several terms that are loaded with negative stereotypes that lead to marginalization and perpetuate a negative stigma. Many of those terms are quite prominent in older TV shows and books because at the time they were deemed acceptable. I think that in general the trend to decrease the common place nature of words that have derogatory connotations is a good one.

Most of these aforementioned terms are deemed politically incorrect by modern standards. (Most of these words tended to be racially charged.) However, recently there has been a trend towards making everything politically correct and the PC movement has really gone to far. (This may or may not coincide with a bunch of womyn started whining and now everything is bad.) Currently, almost any adjective is technically politically incorrect:

-people aren't celebrating Christmas, they're enjoying the holiday season (fair enough, yay religious inclusively);
-people aren't mailmen or chairmen, they're letter carriers and chairpersons (ok, so gender neutrality isn't terrible);
-people aren't "The elderly" or "Old people", they're "seniors" or "older people" (this is getting silly);
-people aren't juvenile delinquents, they're troubled youth or children at risk (really!);
-people aren't from Macau or Taiwan, they're from "Greater China" (less politically charged but I think it's more offensive);
-people aren't short, they're vertically challenged (this is too much);
-people in Britain aren't failing exams, they're deferring success (wtf?);
-people aren't stupid, they're a freakin' pain in the ass (ok that's a truism).

I think that this over-application of political correctness can be best illustrated with an example from the Simpsons (yay Simpsons):

"Pizza day will now be known as Italian American Sauce Bread day."

There needs to be a balance between preventing the perpetuation of negative stereotypes and being able to call a spade a spade. But until then, I shall continue to be politically incorrect by cheering for the Eskimos (eating my earlier words) and getting mad at people who call ombudsmen ombudspersons (or ombuddies).

Saturday Nights Live

Saturday nights are awesome. There is the default presumption that nothing productive will be done that night, and there is no expectation to do anything the next morning.

Last Saturday night, I played poker for the first time in my life. I understand the game, I've seen it played before, however, I had never had the opportunity to play. I was part of an 8-player poker game that kept me out well into Sunday morning, and it was Fantastic. There also appears to be some sort of poker-competency in my genes; alternately I had some wicked beginners luck, because somehow I won.

This Saturday night, I was watching the Toronto-Montreal hockey game. I was getting really sick of the fact that most of the rinks in the league still read "Thank You Fans" in mid-November. We get the point, the NHL apologizes that it wasn't on the air last year, because it meant we had to watch stupid TV shows or lesser sports games and the NHL lost a lot of revenue. But it's freakin' November, stop "thanking" us already. Fortunately, in Montreal they share my sentiment, and they got rid of the icy thank you note. Now if only they could've beaten the Leafs.

As well, tomorrow is one of three CFL games that is worth watching in the year. And Edmonton cannot possibly be that crappy two games in a row, right?

I was brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed

In October I spent 3 consecutive weekends on 3 out of town trips. Vancouver, Vancouver, Calgary.

I love returning home to my own bed.

Best quote of the last weekend:

"There's a difference between cuddling and huddling." -Alan

It was a good enough line for him to be attacked by a group of girls.

He Said... She said...

1.
She: *sticks out tongue*

He: What was the tongue for?

She: I bet you've never asked a girl that before.

He:

2.
He: I'm looking for a quiet place to study.

She: How about the library?

He: That's too much of a keener thing to do.

She: So is studying over lunch hour. If you're going to be a keener, you had best go all the way.

He: But...

She: You're a guy, I bet you've never said no to going all the way before.

He:

Absolution

If you put absolute value brackets around a person, will that mean they will no longer have any negativity? If so, does that mean that they have been absolved? I wonder if the Catholic Church knows about this.