Mondays - A waste of one seventh of your life

I used to have the (perhaps unfounded) notion that Mondays were the worst day of the week. Maybe the title of "Black Monday" is giving this weekday a bad name, or perhaps the fact that after every "Bloody Sunday" people have to awake the next morning to a Monday of cleaning, disinfecting, and despair. Or maybe it's the fact that I like sleeping in and enjoying weekends and Mondays are the first non-weekend day of the week.

But today I realized Mondays can be good too. I came home this afternoon to find my living-in-Alberta cheque (proof that while money may not grow on trees it seems to come from the ground). Furthermore, the National Post now has three suduko puzzles a day instead of one. As well, I had strawberries with my dinner and they did not talk back.

All in all, today made me realize that Mondays aren't the problem, rather the problem is Tuesdays, they're the worst sort of Mondays.

Emergency Rations

I go out to dinner with my grandparents on a regular basis. If there are candies at the end that no one takes, my grandmother will take them (or tell me to take them) and explain that they should be put them away for emergency rations. While in general I think wasting candy is bad, I'm guessing this is a habit left over from living through a great war.

I guess having dined with my grandmother so frequently, her mentality has rubbed off on me. While traveling through Ireland, Erin and I always made sure that we had emergency rations.

Random fact: the orange Fanta in Ireland tastes a million times better than the orange Fanta in London. (I have no idea how the English ruined Fanta, but the stuff in London tasted awful.)

Pop quiz hot shot

Having booked tickets to Vancouver, Ottawa, and LA, my VISA bill is substantially longer and my sense of logic, which I maintain does exist, is slightly offended. Since everyone must endure equal slights to their sense of logic, I'll share my findings in the form of a multiple choice quiz.

1. If you reside in Edmonton, should it cost less to fly to LA or Ottawa?
a) Ottawa, it's the nation's capital and it's in the same country.
b) They should be the same, they're about equidistant.
c) LA, it's the illogical choice, just like Air Canada.
d) Flin Flon

Correct answer: B

2. Should the difference in cost be >$100?
a) No, that would be silly!
b) Yes, it's the illogical choice, just like Air Canada.
c) Flin Flon
d) Maybe

Correct answer: C

3. How much more should it cost to fly from Edmonton to LA than from Edmonton to Vancouver?
a) $300+, the time of travel is 4 times longer to LA than to Vancouver.
b) $200-299, after all, you have to connect in Vancouver (or somewhere) to fly to LA.
c) $100-199, but you can't complain it's a lot cheaper than going to Flin Flon.
d) <$100, it's the illogical choice, just like Air Canada. Correct answer: D

If none of the correct answers seemed illogical to you, I hear Air Canada is hiring.

If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet

It is my understanding that for every vote cast, the party selected on said ballot gets $1.75 (providing that party gets a certain percentage of the overall vote, etc.). It is also to my understanding that said contribution comes from taxpayers.

So, does that mean that if there is a lower voter turnout (or a substantial amount of spoiled ballots), that less money will be distributed to the parties? I'm hoping that someone who knows better about these things might enlighten me.

Worst pick-up line ever

Having gone through my pictures from Ireland I noticed a disturbing trend: about 36% of them feature beds in them. Often it's trying to see how many people can be crammed on a bed, sometimes it's people jumping on beds, and occasionally it's tickle fights that happened to take place in a hotel room so beds are in the picture (although those may not have made their way onto any internet platform) and some of them were just random.

As well, in Ireland, we discovered that the best way to wake up someone in another room was by banging the headboard. It worked if the other room shared a wall or if it was a floor down or across the hall.

On an unrelated note, going to vote in the upcoming election makes me feel dirty. I know that my $1.75 is going to have to go to someone and I don't like that thought.

In light of all this I've decided to make the requisite "worst pick-up line I've ever had used on me in earnest" post. Apparently the thought of pillow fights and politicians reminds me of sleazy pick-up lines.

First the honourable mentions contributed by some friends.

In third place:
Him: They call me coffee because I'm the finest grind in town.

In second place (from Shawna):
Him: What winks and is great in the sack?
Her: What?
Him: *wink*

And the winner is (straight from some guy in my first year class, and I'm not kidding, he actually used this in earnest):
"Will you be the only car in my hoe train?"

Rexall wrecks all

It's January.

The ice in Rexall Place still reads "Thank You Fans."

Did I mention that it's January?

At least it's only written in English, rather than having the French translation as well.

In Transit

Ireland was awesome.

Here is a view of Dublin at night, on the River Liffey.


Some quick lessons I learned:

1. In countries where they don't have fountain pop, getting a hi-ball means paying for the alcohol and the bottle of pop, which means one prohibitively expensive drink.
2. It is fun residing at the break hotel. Especially when you don't break.
3. The tallest building in Dublin is the Guinness tower. The Guinness factory is also the subject of a 6000 year lease.
4. The oldest pub location in Dublin existed before Canada was discovered. One can sign currency and put them on the walls of the modern pub that stands next to the remains of the original pub.
5. White shoes are never a good idea.
6. In Ireland "black gold" refers to Guinness, not oil.
7. Canada produces some amazing debaters. Congrats to all!
8. Booze-2-Go is the best named liquor store ever.
9. Watching Guinness being poured is a good experience. Drinking it isn't.
10. Two Brits judging for Alaska can indeed represent the "Dominion of Canada" in the world's masters competition and win. Yay for Toques, maple syrup, and "something like Ice Hockey."
11. Lanyards ruin black tie outfits. But one must ensure they have their accreditation at all times.
12. Emergency exits can look like a man in a hurry.
13. Sugar fights are dangerous.
14. One should beware of the South Africans, they have a malarial-meningococcal-influenza-contagious bug thing and an amazing ability to confuse doctors trying to make a diagnosis.
15. Cribbage is fun. Cribbage between debate rounds is extra fun. Girls versus Boys cribbage between debate rounds defies probabilities.
16. Quarantining people to differentiate between hangovers and illnesses results in heightened hypochondria.
17. When fitting 100,000 books into one room, arranging bookshelves according to book size makes space usage more effective, and helps people carrying books down a ladder.
18. Four people easily fit on a single bed.
19. Pajama parties in Jones' room are awesome.
20. Erin really liked her Irish hat.
21. Doors are meant for shorter people in Ireland.
22. Pantomime is French for "musical written by 1000 crackbabies typing on 1000 typewriters for 1000 hours with a bit of LSD added."
23. Driving on the wrong side of the very narrow and crazy roads in a vehicle with a standard transmission, relying on maps written by monkeys is an adventure. Erin is a pretty good driver.
24. Cork is pretty.
25. Blarney Castle has a murder hole. The grounds of the castle have a druid circle, a sacrificial alter, wishing steps and more.
26. Kissing the Blarney Stone is awesome fun, but requires flexibility.
27. Fermoy, home of the Charlie Brown pub, needs a by-pass.
28. In Ireland, everyone says "thanks a million."
29. The line "so long as we're not dead, we might as well be wed" seemed to really offend me.
30. Cork really was 17 shades of green, none of which were jaded.

The problem with traveling is that the period of time it takes to recover after the trip is brutal. Instead of 36 hours in transit (which is long, but included a night in London), it feels like I'm spending a week in transit trying to get things back to the way they were before I left.

More stories and pictures to follow.

Worlds In Poem

After a bit of prompting, I'm back.
(See Tinna, I listen to your emails! Make sure to club that seal so they know you're Canadian.)

While Erin and I never did get a chance to drive through the city of Limerick, we decided that we could still write a Limerick to explain worlds. The complete version is still under revision, so I'll only post the first one.

We went to Worlds 2006 in Dublin City
With 900 people that thought they were witty
For nine rounds we spoke
But only 32 teams broke
And everyone else went around seeking pity