In Winnipeg, there is a pilot project to put minnows in standing water, in hopes that the minnows will eat the mosquito larva, thus reducing the spread of west nile virus.
SKINNER: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
LISA: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
SKINNER: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
LISA: But aren't the snakes even worse?
SKINNER: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
LISA: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
SKINNER: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
6.23.2005
6.22.2005
6.18.2005
"Can I lick your fingers? Meet me at the mail slot."
I love the Simpsons, it's like a modern day Shakespeare.
The Simpsons, like Shakespeare, appeals to audiences on two levels: slapstick base humour coupled with sophisticated quips and intelligent allusions. As such, both have wide appeal that transcends class, gender, or age.
As well, both Shakespeare and the Simpsons have created their own words. Some of my favourites include Shakespeare's "sluggardly" (bonus points for anyone who can name the play), and the Simpsons' "d'oh" or "ovulitious" (more bonus points for knowing the episode).
Furthermore, both have many memorable quotes, the sort that are cited often and suit many situations. Be it "the lady doth protest too much," or "the black ram is tupping your white ewe" versus "me fail English? that's unpossible" or "what's wrong Marge? You're not in any kind of physical pain - the only sort of pain a man understands."
I guess a show of the Simpsons has three acts, whereas Shakespeare preferred five. I think that the difference has to do with today's shorter attention spans.
Either way, both the Simpsons and Shakespeare are requisites to make any claim of cultural literacy.
The Simpsons, like Shakespeare, appeals to audiences on two levels: slapstick base humour coupled with sophisticated quips and intelligent allusions. As such, both have wide appeal that transcends class, gender, or age.
As well, both Shakespeare and the Simpsons have created their own words. Some of my favourites include Shakespeare's "sluggardly" (bonus points for anyone who can name the play), and the Simpsons' "d'oh" or "ovulitious" (more bonus points for knowing the episode).
Furthermore, both have many memorable quotes, the sort that are cited often and suit many situations. Be it "the lady doth protest too much," or "the black ram is tupping your white ewe" versus "me fail English? that's unpossible" or "what's wrong Marge? You're not in any kind of physical pain - the only sort of pain a man understands."
I guess a show of the Simpsons has three acts, whereas Shakespeare preferred five. I think that the difference has to do with today's shorter attention spans.
Either way, both the Simpsons and Shakespeare are requisites to make any claim of cultural literacy.
6.15.2005
Men at work?
Every once in a while, I come across a word that utterly tickles my fancy in a way that no combination of syllable should. The mere mention of said word will make me smile, as if its existence means that there is something a little bit right in the word.
In the past, words like defenestration, spork, and obsequious have held such honours. And now another word is gaining the same prestige. Please allow me to introduce my new word of the past 1.64 months:
Degradomics.
The word has something to do with a breaking down process used in proteomics (the science of protein engineering that roughly parallels the work done on the genome project, but for proteins). I think that it could also be a word coined to refer to the economics of the environment.
If nothing else, my job as a finance assistant is definitely expanding my science-specific vocabulary.
Speaking of things being broken apart, it's amazing how quickly construction can actually get done during the summer. On my way to work this morning, there was a perfectly good sidewalk on the west side of 114 street, just north of University Avenue. On my drive home, the sidewalk had been replaced with a gaping hole and barricades.
Unfortunately, it seems a lot easier to tear things apart than put things together. I get the feeling that after today's amazing display of men actually working, the southbound university area traffic will now be subjected to very little work being accomplished and a lot of men standing around holding signs declaring themselves to be at work while they laugh at the cars being constricted to one lane.
In the past, words like defenestration, spork, and obsequious have held such honours. And now another word is gaining the same prestige. Please allow me to introduce my new word of the past 1.64 months:
Degradomics.
The word has something to do with a breaking down process used in proteomics (the science of protein engineering that roughly parallels the work done on the genome project, but for proteins). I think that it could also be a word coined to refer to the economics of the environment.
If nothing else, my job as a finance assistant is definitely expanding my science-specific vocabulary.
Speaking of things being broken apart, it's amazing how quickly construction can actually get done during the summer. On my way to work this morning, there was a perfectly good sidewalk on the west side of 114 street, just north of University Avenue. On my drive home, the sidewalk had been replaced with a gaping hole and barricades.
Unfortunately, it seems a lot easier to tear things apart than put things together. I get the feeling that after today's amazing display of men actually working, the southbound university area traffic will now be subjected to very little work being accomplished and a lot of men standing around holding signs declaring themselves to be at work while they laugh at the cars being constricted to one lane.
6.14.2005
Bull's-eye
On the way to work in the morning, I listen to the radio; mindless dribble is about all I can comprehend before 8am.
This morning, there was a discussion about superstitions and the practices or events that people thought would bring good or bad luck. One lady called in and said that she heard that it was a sign of good luck if a pigeon pooped on one's head. I don't know, but to me that seems like a sign of incredibly bad luck.
And as a complete non-sequitur, 23 years ago today, Argentina surrendered to Britain on the Falkland Islands.
This morning, there was a discussion about superstitions and the practices or events that people thought would bring good or bad luck. One lady called in and said that she heard that it was a sign of good luck if a pigeon pooped on one's head. I don't know, but to me that seems like a sign of incredibly bad luck.
And as a complete non-sequitur, 23 years ago today, Argentina surrendered to Britain on the Falkland Islands.
6.10.2005
As pesky as their mosquitoes
Once a year I stumble across a pair of free football tickets.
Free tickets are the best way to learn that one is out of shape on the trek to the top row - number 84 for those that have not had the pleasure of seeing a game from a vantage point where the players are almost as big as on TV. But rather than looking this gift horse in the mouth, I go to the games and enjoy myself. It's always a fun time, I get to hang out with a friend, and it is cheaper than going out for tea.
As well, up until today, I had never gone to a game where the Eskimos did not win. Based on the way they were playing in the first quarter, I felt assured that this record would be upheld; the Esks were dominating the game, making nice plays, and building up a nice lead. Then they started to fall apart. I think that the refs threw more flags on the field than the Esks threw completions. Since when should the Esks feel lucky to tie against Winnipeg?
At least they didn't lose.
The other fascinating feature of professional sports is that it is reassuring to see a regularly apathetic group of people unite in support of something (or against Calgary, as the case may be). Despite the rain and the lack of an enchanting rival, over half the stadium was filled.
However, North Americans cannot seem to get as excited as Europeans about sport. It seems that at 10 minutes before the end of the game, people just started to leave. For the entire fourth quarter, the score was either tied or within a field goal. I can understand leaving to catch the train when there is a 2-touchdown difference, but a tied game? Who cares if you have to walk slower to the LRT, it's a fricken' tied game. Maybe it's because alcohol sales were finished, maybe our attention spans really are shorter than it used to be, or maybe the stadium was filled with reverse vampires that needed to be home by dark. Either way, Dawn and I were disappointed.
Now I can't wait until we get some hockey back, so I don't have to resort to football talk.
Free tickets are the best way to learn that one is out of shape on the trek to the top row - number 84 for those that have not had the pleasure of seeing a game from a vantage point where the players are almost as big as on TV. But rather than looking this gift horse in the mouth, I go to the games and enjoy myself. It's always a fun time, I get to hang out with a friend, and it is cheaper than going out for tea.
As well, up until today, I had never gone to a game where the Eskimos did not win. Based on the way they were playing in the first quarter, I felt assured that this record would be upheld; the Esks were dominating the game, making nice plays, and building up a nice lead. Then they started to fall apart. I think that the refs threw more flags on the field than the Esks threw completions. Since when should the Esks feel lucky to tie against Winnipeg?
At least they didn't lose.
The other fascinating feature of professional sports is that it is reassuring to see a regularly apathetic group of people unite in support of something (or against Calgary, as the case may be). Despite the rain and the lack of an enchanting rival, over half the stadium was filled.
However, North Americans cannot seem to get as excited as Europeans about sport. It seems that at 10 minutes before the end of the game, people just started to leave. For the entire fourth quarter, the score was either tied or within a field goal. I can understand leaving to catch the train when there is a 2-touchdown difference, but a tied game? Who cares if you have to walk slower to the LRT, it's a fricken' tied game. Maybe it's because alcohol sales were finished, maybe our attention spans really are shorter than it used to be, or maybe the stadium was filled with reverse vampires that needed to be home by dark. Either way, Dawn and I were disappointed.
Now I can't wait until we get some hockey back, so I don't have to resort to football talk.
6.09.2005
Pomp, Circumstance, and a big yellow building
I played whack-a-mole for the first time in my life today. It was greatly therapeutic.
I convocated for the first time in my life yesterday. It was rather dull. (Except for meeting the Lieutenant Governor.)
I convocated for the first time in my life yesterday. It was rather dull. (Except for meeting the Lieutenant Governor.)
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